ff

hey!! this is some great stuff happening in my province, i'm so glad! (i don't wanna brag, but, like, a similarly great campaign happened in alberta when i was there, so, you know, my presence seems to be good for a place... you're welcome, ontario.) for real, it is bonkers how excited this shiz gets me, as if this shouldn't be STANDARD ISSUE EVERYWHERE by now. aaaannnnyway. great. kathleen wynne, yes good. thank you.

and some ff links on the topic of devil's advocate. (spoiler alert: just don't, asshatt)

{juliana britto schwartz for feministing.com}

* an open letter to the privileged people who play devil's advocate

* for the sake of argument

* no more devil's advocate

and finally, happy friday, pizzas!

 {my friends are hiiiiilarious}

 

today i read

{denise balkisson}

today? today is anger. (anger is always, if i'm thinking about it. some days i manage not to and then they are not angry. but today is. raging.)

just a minute ago i wrote on facebook:

tired of the ghomeshi shit? too bad. some people have been tired for a long time.
this piece gets, so well, into the rage that i am scared of in myself, that i don't know what to do with. wasn't ray rice a watershed moment? and before him, and before and before and before...

* sorry, we haven't reached a 'watershed' on violence against women

(also. news stories i listened to last week calling the death of two rcmp officers the worst murders in canada's history - not that their deaths aren't awful, but how 'bout the more than 26 women victims of pickton? i can't i can't i can't.)

and this quote, from sue chapman on cbc world at six news, november 3rd. she was asked, about women coming forward with abuse allocations:

as a former prosecutor, what would you say to women as they were expressing these concerns? what would you say to them at the time?

SC: I would explain to them fairly and fully what the issues were, but quite honestly I would also say to them that it’s very much in the public interest that they proceed with the case.  That they be prepared to cooperate and take the years that is [sic] necessary to pursue a prosecution. But privately in my own mind I would often think, however, if you were my sister, I’d tell you to go home now.

emphasis mine.

just think about that for a while.

(i've transcribed the whole interview, if you aren't able to listen to it via the link above. i'm happy to share.)

today i read

{bijan stephen on medium}

* The Talk

(this one deserves very much the capital letters i so rarely use here.)
(and doesn't that fear sound like the fear you have felt being a woman alone in an elevator, cab, bar, boy's home, street, etc etc etc. i find it comforting, though sad, to feel as though i can have some level of connectedness to this pain and fear. that we can share some small solidarity.)

blister, burn

holy god, catching fire is bleak. and fantastic. and devastating. and i loved it. and i want to see it again right this minute. i very much liked the first film, but there were a few punches i felt they pulled - the dogs being mutts, particularly, which is such a powerful terrible idea. which made sense cuz kids movie... but. this film doesn't pull punches. the old man in district 11. i love that the costumes and makeup look real - not polished high-def movie real. but. stagey. put on. the tributes dressed up. you see the texture, you see the fabric and the seams and the way things sit on or dig into skin. the sweat, spit, tears, hair, fire. flickerman's teeth. glass. where there is polish and where there is not. utility vs comfort vs costume. yes, this is a very well handled film. oh it is dark. 

johanna. jenna malone, who i have loved forever, is brilliant and sad. her anger is overwhelming and roiling. she is my favourite for a million miles.

catching fire was the best book in the series for me, and one of the more intoxicating books i've read. the movie does it proper justice. oh i am pleased, i am heartbroken. also, buy the soundtrack. it is really really really good. elastic heart. oh god.

also, i recommend you read this. the odds are never in our favour.

news

* location of the newest mass shooting revealed
* desperate nation tries getting on board with mass shootings

can we make a deal? can we only have the onion report on shootings from now on?
because today, there's really just one thing that i think has anything honesty ringing through it. maybe you remember it?

* fuck everything, nation reports

can we just stop? pretending to care. pretending to be horrified. i mean.
i know we care on an individual level. of course we care. of course we are horrified.
but i'm talking collectively. the states. our neighbour. us.

can we not get up and make a speech about how 'unimaginable' it is?

that word is beyond ridiculously ill-fitting. of course it is imaginable. come on. can we not say shit like that to the victims' families and friends? to the people who witnessed it. can we not patronize them with words that ring so false? no one cares. nothing will be done. we will talk for a little while, and we will clutch at our hearts and we will shout and cry, and we will not so much forget as we will just not... and then it will happen again. and we will say all the same things, and we will pound our hands on the table, and we will declare that now is the time. we will reignite conversations rand repeat them pretty much exactly like we did last time, like, how long ago? fuck off. stop it.  it is embarrassing and it is gross. so let's just not. let's just shut it. let there be some god damn silence because maybe, maybe, there can be a moment of genuine solace in that void. instead of this bullshit cacophony.

when i learned about columbine, i threw up. it was the most heartbroken i'd been in my little life. it was the most devastating thing for my poor little sensitive heart. i was in grade 9. it was a madness i could not begin to get my head around. i didn't understand my own anger. i didn't understand anything about it at all. the hurt i felt was everywhere. whole body. i was shaken to my core. utterly lost.

i am easily affected by tragedy. i take on emotion so deeply. i am emotional. this is something we know about me. i've wept for a lot less than a school-full of murdered children. on the wrong day someone tripping getting off the streetcar can bring me to tears.

when i looked at the scrolling updates from washington and i shrugged. the only word that surfaced in response was 'yup'.

yup. shrug.

i'm sorry that your deaths won't matter. i'm sorry nothing will change. i'm sorry guns are more important than you. than we.

shrug.

i'm going to go back to listening to britney now.

ff

{leslie morgan steiner for ted}

* good news for abuse victims in massachusetts

"Now, if he makes a threat, Massachusetts has the power to escalate. If he uses visitation time to attack her or her children, Massachusetts restricts visitation. Now he's the one who has to make his decisions with the understanding that someone with power can further restrict his movements and his ability to live freely. Abusers often victimize for years before taking things to the level of a serious beating or murder. By restricting movements in the early stages, it appears that the program helps keep abusers from getting to that point."

{amanda marcotte for slate magazine}

that's it for today. keeping it short since this is for sure a heavy theme.

happy friday, lovelies.

ff

seeing as i'm all back in the social media game this week (with some of the best vine-work you'll ever see of my dog over and over) the conversation happening about sexist/violent-hate-speech towards women on facebook is right on time.

* maaany groups are stepping forward to demand change in this open letter to fb

(if you have the stomach for it, take a look at the examples page. warning. super triggering.)
it is tough and sad. because i read the letter and was all 'tell me somethin new, whateves.' because i feel like i'm on a feedback loop of woman-as-victim-is-hilarious-haha that just won't end, and ugh i'm just tiiiired of hearing about it. but then again it is only through this constant constant pointing it out that we can make progress. obviously. the peeps who are all 'raping is SO FUNNY!' aren't going to just up and stop feeling that way. we have to keep on talking and talking and talking about it. and hope we're being heard. hope we are breaking through. even though it all feels a bit (a lot) hopeless. like this week when a friend of mine who IS A GOOD GUY and means so well posted a series of rape-joke-memes to his instagram... and this guy has at least TWICE sat with me while i wept and yelled at him over rape jokes... he has seen what they do to me and he knows that it is a deeply hurtful thing, or he SHOULD because holy shit how many times do you need to break a person down before you realize that you're doing something wrong?! hopeless. but no, i will keep on trying, we have to keep trying because if it is so hard to create a change in someone i know so well who loves and cares for me, then obviously it will be a million harder to get to those who are just people-out-there-in-the-world. and also it is so very necessary and worth it, ugh heavy sighs, this is my thing.

any. way. saying it always again:

"Although Facebook claims, in a narrowly-defined defense of free speech, not to be involved in challenging norms or censoring people’s speech, you have in place procedures, terms and community guidelines that you interpret and enforce.Facebook prohibits hate speech and your moderators deal with content that is violently racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and anti-Semitic every day. Your refusal to similarly address gender-based hate speech marginalizes girls and women, sidelines our experiences and concerns, and contributes to violence against them.  Facebook is an enormous social network with more than a billion users around the world, making your site extremely influential in shaping social and cultural norms and behaviors. 

...

In a world in which hundreds of thousands of women are assaulted daily and where intimate partner violence  remains one of the leading causes of death for women around the world, it is not possible to sit on the fence.  We call on Facebook to make the only responsible decision and take swift, clear action on this issue, to bring your policy on rape and domestic violence into line with your own moderation goals and guidelines."

{excerpts from the open letter on WAM!}

speak up and speak out, my little feminists. thank you to all the people in my life who are in this fight. who break themselves open in an attempt to change hearts and minds. or those who wrap themselves round those who have broken and help with the repair and the renewal and the going out there again.

happy friday teamgang.

ff

i hate the nra so much i can't see straight. (i mean, maybe too that's the stomach flu i've had all week messing with my brain. but mostly nra hate.) i hate guns. we know this. they make me so deeply sick and angry. i don't necessarily hate people who hunt or whatever. but. guns as personal defence? guns in the home? hate i can't control hate.

so, of course i'm oh so very vomitey mad about:

*the ex-girlfriend target

holy shit, you've got to be joking, but of COURSE YOU'RE NOT! ugh beyond all ughs.

"Gun violence is a gendered issue since it impacts women and men in very different ways. Because women are more vulnerable to violence within the home than men (and men are most often the perpetrators of violence against women), the presence of a gun makes females less safe, not more. How do we know? A woman's likelyhood of a violent death within the home actually increases by 270% when a gun is kept inside the house. Homicide figures don't lie. Having a gun within their possession didn't protect women from murder. In fact, it accurately predicted their higher likelyhood of death."

{elizabeth plank at policymic}

i know we talked about that sort of statistic in a haha way with louis ck. but this isn't funny, guys. it isn't. it is exhaustively sad that this exists. intolerably exhaustively sad. usa you scare me so hard. you are an insane place.

ff

jokes! some real good jokes! because this week you probably need to do some laughing. at least you do if you are me.



and just a quick hit on this awesome young woman who is taking a stand when it comes to sex ed:

*abstinence-only and misinformation be a terrible education plan, yo!

ma-pa and i had a good chat while they were visiting about the levels of sex ed that are taught throughout canada... and how scary it is when the young folk aren't properly educated. i had an acquaintance who was sexually active as a teen and believed that as long as she did a handstand after sex, she'd be a-ok! how's about we arm people with the actual facts and then trust that the education they've been given will help them make smart choice? aces.

happy friday, bearlions.

ff (fw)

seeing as i skipped over last week's feminist friday, i'm going to throw this out there today. because i am having strong feelings about it and don't feel like waiting till friday rolls 'round again. in the wake of the string of sexual assaults around toronto. thanks to john for passing along this piece.

* communal fear

i have tried one hundred thousand times to get to the heart of what it feels like to be afraid. to just be afraid. often. everywhere. anytime. after dark. early in the morning. when alone. when somewhere new. when somewhere familiar suddenly seems so unsafe... women have vigilance and fear dug into them very very early. or at least i and so many people i know have had. (and if we haven't, well, aren't we naive and foolish and putting ourselves in danger? say the voices.)

{stacey may fowles}

last night i went to a book launch party in toronto's east side. super hip and happenin'. i had some drinks and danced and tweeted. then i went home alone on the streetcar and subway a little after midnight, and held my breath as i held my head up hoping that tonight was not the night that i stupidly assumed i was safe in my city. knowing that if it was in fact that night, people would wonder about my sky-high clog heels, my short dress, my few drinks. the female friend i was with at the party asked that i text when i got home, which i appreciated. i am always the one who worries about my girlfriends going home alone. i always feel like a broken record. telling them to be careful as if it gives them any power. telling myself i am prepared and aware and vigilant as if it will help me if i ever am one of the unlucky ones. it is constant. it makes a girl very tired. 

     {stacey may fowles again. exactly.}

ff

why do i feel the need to talk and talk and talk about feminism? and yell and shout and scream about things that seem maybe small and unimportant to y'all. because. of stuff like this:

* the kind of violence done to women speaking their minds online

this woman. she says 'hey! let's create some multi-dimentional female characters in gaming!' and she gets bullied and attacked and harrassed. hooooray! and this shouldn't happen ever ever ever. as long as there are whole collections of human-people who think this is an okay response, i'm-a keep talkin'. because there are a million horrible things out there, sure. but we have to start small. or. smallish. and the deep-seeded level of hatred that is bred into our western perspective on women these days is baaaad. and we cannot improve things, truly, without beginning there. shaking and breaking it up. okay! that's all for this week. i hope you'll really think on it.

happy friday!

ff

oh rage buckets!

i was just writing on a friend's facebook about rage buckets... he posted this ol' infographic i believe i linked to a while back (or maybe just tweeted?). and i was all 'come on over to the blog where i help top up your rage buckets weekly with articles and infographics!' but also too there is the good news. sometimes. on feminist friday. and this week! IS GOOD NEWS WEEK!!! woooooo!

there is this, first, which is great:



* and here is zerlina at feministing using a few more words to say that it is great.

and also...

* this great olympic news, guys, cause the OLYMPICS ARE COMING!!!

it may not be perfection, but it is something, right?! and we must celebrate our somethings when we get them! so party it up this canada-day long weekend (you can party elsewhere too, as long as it is red and white themed..) and enjoy yourself because this is a goooood week here at the irishdiet!

{canada's emilie haymans and jennifer abel, photo borrowed from here}
 

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

ff

last week. the grammys. i didn't watch them. not because of the chris brown debacle... i didn't even know about that until midway through, due to the chatter on twitter. i had read over 300 pages of 1Q84 in under a week, and i hadn't been paying attention and i don't much care about the grammys anyways.

but.

i do care about the chris brown debacle. for the last three years i have been constantly disturbed by the fact that almost no one seems to care that chris brown hit rihanna in the face and sent her to hospital. or they sortakinda care but, you know, not enough to not like him, you know?

sure, i never listened to his music before or after... but generally i feel that people who hit their girlfriends are BAD people. and shouldn't be supported and idolized. anyways.

readings for you on the topic. the first is a very well handled piece by sasha pasulka.

* not okay

and here's a nightmare wrapped up in a neurotoxin!

* what is wrong with us?!

and finally this gem from jill at feministe:

* isn't being a woman in this world top shelf?

sometimes it is all i can do to put clothes on my body and get out the door, knowing that this is the world that waits outside for me. a million hooorays!