today i read

a new thing i'm gonna do here! pick the best thing i read from my collecting things-to-be-read-aka-instapaper. and then tell you. the blorg. what it is. in case you wanna read it. too. it is like today-in-tabs except instead of summarizing all the things i will not summarize and only give you one thing. and i won't email it to you. you'll have to come get it. here. but. you know. you get it. (i'll have original content again for you one day... one day.)

today i read:

the racism beat - what it's like to write about hate over and over and over
by cord jefferson

ff

don't be that guy.

but seriously. don't be that guy.

this week i've learned that some people i know and don't hate consider themselves MRAs. which is veeerrrrry disappointing. because men's right activist is not a catch-all for people-who-think-that-there-are-issues-that-affect-men. yesssss there are issue of gender inequality which affect men. if you read/learn feminism that ISN'T written by MRAs (feminazi, gag, vomit, punch, scream, i hate that term so much, i can't even) you would know that feminism does consider those issues... the hyper-masculine-ideal-culture ain't good for many/most people. duh. fucking duh. MRAs are a hate group. is every single MRA a piece of human garbage? probs not. some are probably relatively well intended but immensely ignorant to their privilege and the realities of gender politics. but, well-intended or not, aligning yourself with them is supporting their baseline which is: anti-female, hateful, aggressive, harassing, disgusting. it is like saying that you are a white supremacist, but, like, you aren't a racist. come. the. fuck. on. i was exceedingly kind to these people-i-know-who-call-themselves-MRAs. i gave them a reeeeaaal benefit of the doubt, gentle, polite, considerate kind of conversation about why they might not wanna be linking arms with these groups. i didn't go into the absurdity of reverse-sexism and the fact that hetero white men are not exactly lacking for platforms. consider that my good deed of the month. what i wanted to do was submit them to a fear-campaign where their private information gets published and dispersed all over the internet to people who hate them just for existing and having thoughts, i wanted to drown them in hateful, violent, name-calling and threats, i wanted them to be publicly ridiculed and harassed at such a rate that they think 'fuck it, i'm too scared, to sad, too tired', except, oh wait, that's not feminism's m.o. that's some other group's... but don't just take my word for it. educate yourself, yo:

"It is a backlash group against women's rights and feminism. Other backlash groups include the KKK and "white pride" who wish to reverse the rights of blacks by arguing that white people are oppressed. Similarly, MRAs want to abolish women's rights by lying that men are oppressed. Also, groups like KKK have been known to support violence against blacks, and MRAs are known for their support of violence against women. Both groups argue that blacks and women should stop "whining" and that racism/misogyny are not real."

* urban dictionary does a good job of breakin it down, as quoted above

* the belle jar sums up nicely why MRAs are garbage

* the american prospect points out that MRAs are harmful to men too, duh

* lots of info and links and so on here

happy friday, all y'all scaaaary ladies.

ff

seeing as i'm all back in the social media game this week (with some of the best vine-work you'll ever see of my dog over and over) the conversation happening about sexist/violent-hate-speech towards women on facebook is right on time.

* maaany groups are stepping forward to demand change in this open letter to fb

(if you have the stomach for it, take a look at the examples page. warning. super triggering.)
it is tough and sad. because i read the letter and was all 'tell me somethin new, whateves.' because i feel like i'm on a feedback loop of woman-as-victim-is-hilarious-haha that just won't end, and ugh i'm just tiiiired of hearing about it. but then again it is only through this constant constant pointing it out that we can make progress. obviously. the peeps who are all 'raping is SO FUNNY!' aren't going to just up and stop feeling that way. we have to keep on talking and talking and talking about it. and hope we're being heard. hope we are breaking through. even though it all feels a bit (a lot) hopeless. like this week when a friend of mine who IS A GOOD GUY and means so well posted a series of rape-joke-memes to his instagram... and this guy has at least TWICE sat with me while i wept and yelled at him over rape jokes... he has seen what they do to me and he knows that it is a deeply hurtful thing, or he SHOULD because holy shit how many times do you need to break a person down before you realize that you're doing something wrong?! hopeless. but no, i will keep on trying, we have to keep trying because if it is so hard to create a change in someone i know so well who loves and cares for me, then obviously it will be a million harder to get to those who are just people-out-there-in-the-world. and also it is so very necessary and worth it, ugh heavy sighs, this is my thing.

any. way. saying it always again:

"Although Facebook claims, in a narrowly-defined defense of free speech, not to be involved in challenging norms or censoring people’s speech, you have in place procedures, terms and community guidelines that you interpret and enforce.Facebook prohibits hate speech and your moderators deal with content that is violently racist, homophobic, Islamophobic, and anti-Semitic every day. Your refusal to similarly address gender-based hate speech marginalizes girls and women, sidelines our experiences and concerns, and contributes to violence against them.  Facebook is an enormous social network with more than a billion users around the world, making your site extremely influential in shaping social and cultural norms and behaviors. 

...

In a world in which hundreds of thousands of women are assaulted daily and where intimate partner violence  remains one of the leading causes of death for women around the world, it is not possible to sit on the fence.  We call on Facebook to make the only responsible decision and take swift, clear action on this issue, to bring your policy on rape and domestic violence into line with your own moderation goals and guidelines."

{excerpts from the open letter on WAM!}

speak up and speak out, my little feminists. thank you to all the people in my life who are in this fight. who break themselves open in an attempt to change hearts and minds. or those who wrap themselves round those who have broken and help with the repair and the renewal and the going out there again.

happy friday teamgang.