ff

aka this week neko case won the internet and all of my love. if you don't follow her on twitter, well, I don't even know, fix that scene right this minute.

happy friday, welcome back!

saved my life and all of that

i have been gone forever. there was much to do. and then there was hawaii. and then there was the end of my job. (there is a new one coming soon, you'll hear about that before long.) and then a friend of mine died. and all of our hearts broke, me and so many people in this city and beyond. we have been dealing. we have been spending time. indulging. grieving. sharing. loving. being together. walking. missing. remembering. hugging and holding. eating and drinking. being lost. being grateful. being angry. young men should not die.

i re-read joan didion. the year of magical thinking. the memorial was this last weekend. it was hard and wonderful. full of love and tears and laughter. we are not good at grieving, we in this country, continent, time. i can't tell you how much it helped to be weeping in a space with other weeping people for a few hours. i can't tell you how much i love these people, my people, in this city. i can't tell you how thankful i am that i am in this strange bubble of time where i am not working and can be with these people.

here is the song, the video, that has been on repeat this last week. until morning light.



next week i will be back to Real Life. until then. reading. dancing. singing. remembering. loving.

queen moonchild

{alexander mcqueen pre-fall 2014, photos courtesy of alexander mcqueen by way of style.com}

tricks

{moschino pre-fall 2014, photos courtesy of moschino by way of style.com}

i mean to be

{mcq alexander mcqueen pre-fall 2014, photos courtesy of alexander mcqueen by way of style.com}

saved my life

it is the last day of birthdaymonth, and what a birthdaymonth it has been. thanks, everyone, for being the best. here's a fellow with a real nice voice for ya.



happy monday, cake for everyone.

ff

don't be that guy.

but seriously. don't be that guy.

this week i've learned that some people i know and don't hate consider themselves MRAs. which is veeerrrrry disappointing. because men's right activist is not a catch-all for people-who-think-that-there-are-issues-that-affect-men. yesssss there are issue of gender inequality which affect men. if you read/learn feminism that ISN'T written by MRAs (feminazi, gag, vomit, punch, scream, i hate that term so much, i can't even) you would know that feminism does consider those issues... the hyper-masculine-ideal-culture ain't good for many/most people. duh. fucking duh. MRAs are a hate group. is every single MRA a piece of human garbage? probs not. some are probably relatively well intended but immensely ignorant to their privilege and the realities of gender politics. but, well-intended or not, aligning yourself with them is supporting their baseline which is: anti-female, hateful, aggressive, harassing, disgusting. it is like saying that you are a white supremacist, but, like, you aren't a racist. come. the. fuck. on. i was exceedingly kind to these people-i-know-who-call-themselves-MRAs. i gave them a reeeeaaal benefit of the doubt, gentle, polite, considerate kind of conversation about why they might not wanna be linking arms with these groups. i didn't go into the absurdity of reverse-sexism and the fact that hetero white men are not exactly lacking for platforms. consider that my good deed of the month. what i wanted to do was submit them to a fear-campaign where their private information gets published and dispersed all over the internet to people who hate them just for existing and having thoughts, i wanted to drown them in hateful, violent, name-calling and threats, i wanted them to be publicly ridiculed and harassed at such a rate that they think 'fuck it, i'm too scared, to sad, too tired', except, oh wait, that's not feminism's m.o. that's some other group's... but don't just take my word for it. educate yourself, yo:

"It is a backlash group against women's rights and feminism. Other backlash groups include the KKK and "white pride" who wish to reverse the rights of blacks by arguing that white people are oppressed. Similarly, MRAs want to abolish women's rights by lying that men are oppressed. Also, groups like KKK have been known to support violence against blacks, and MRAs are known for their support of violence against women. Both groups argue that blacks and women should stop "whining" and that racism/misogyny are not real."

* urban dictionary does a good job of breakin it down, as quoted above

* the belle jar sums up nicely why MRAs are garbage

* the american prospect points out that MRAs are harmful to men too, duh

* lots of info and links and so on here

happy friday, all y'all scaaaary ladies.