saved my life

moooaaar daaaancing!



happy monday, bodies.

saved my life

last week i had my second of four solo-ballet-dates, wherein i take myself to the ballet and dress fancy and am glad. oh man i love the ballet. this show was all new works. including one with music by owen pallett! HOW FUN IS THAT?! very fun. and all with live musicians which is very nice. here's a little look at the piece being created.



(also one used pergolesi's stabat mater, and yes i did cry very hard when it started cause hi harmony, hi sadness.)
happy monday, brass section slowly climbing up up up...

trouble inside my skin

can you spot my tattoo? my very first when-i-was-a-baby tattoo? hint: it isn't one of the model's tattoos... and i would wear that tutu-crinoline dress always forever. and if not that dress, then the perfectly perfect and simple white one.

{lanvin resort 2014, photos courtesy of lanvin by way of style.com}

are you afraid of the mud?

tough mudder is less than two weeks away. i am both super excited and super terrified. okay, mostly excited. very very excited. and the team-tutus arrived yesterday. everything is aces.

our team is made up of a small pile of super cool interesting busy women. which is AWESOME. except when it comes to trying to schedule group workouts. not happening. sadly we've yet to get the team together at one time in one place. one day (probably race day) it will happen, and i'll get a group shot and everything will be topshelf. but in the meanwhile i'd like to introduce you to them all individually. here we go. *soooome people didn't send me pictures or bios so sooooome people had their pictures chosen for them and stolen off facebook by me. samesies for nicknames.*

{marina 'you are what you eat' cortese}

marina is the one who wrangled us all and made the mudder happen for team ballerina. i'm not sure it has been officially dubbed, but she is totes team captain. marina runs her own business (nour-ish) as a nutritionist, and also teaches the odd class at extension room. she wears dark heavy-framed glasses and had white hair when i met her and then dyed her hair brown around the same time as me, which is another way of saying she has awesome style and taste.

{sue 'i knead you' cheung}

i haven't even met sue yet! booo! but i am very excited about her being on the team mostly cause look at how great the picture she sent for her bio is. sue is a registered massage therapist who runs her own business focused on women and pre/post natal mothers. she loves the outdoors, the beach (a most-excellent sub-set of the outdoors-category), volleyball, and sleep. oh yes, we will get along JUST fine. sue was brought to us by way of:

{natalie 'dressed to kill' sageloly}

natalie works in fashion!  i know, right? pretty great. she works at canopy blue as a buyer. now, i've only met her a few times so far, but she has proven to be absolutely lovely and also supremely funny and energetic. which will come in handy on race day for sure. natalie is besties with:

{larissa 'law abiding citizen' moscu}

super-sad times. larissa has had to jump ship. alas, her realjob is making her work soooo hard and the time away just isn't an option for her. big time frowney faces over here. but she is still awesome and you should still see her and know she was with us. *also her spot is available... ANYONE WANNA?!*
larissa is an iddy-biddy former gymnast and dancer. she hosted the first attempt at a mudder-team gathering, welcoming marina and i into her apartment and 'forcing' post-workout snacks on us. but when she isn't being all hostessy or bakery (a top hobby, yessssssss...) or making funny faces during the abs portion of an extension room class, she can be found fearlessly litigating in toronto courtrooms. (as fearlessly, she says, as one can be after only 7 months.)

{sarah 'i'll sue if someone dies' rankin}

yeah, yeah, you already know her. around here she is best known as roommatesarah. but maybe you didn't know that she is also the only one of us to be properly following the mudder training regime? maybe you didn't know that she goes for runs while i have naps on the couch? you did. though. you did know. sarah is, too, a law-type. like larissa. but on the other side of the courtroom. she just finished 2nd year law at u of t, while also-too doing a masters in criminology. she hates broccoli and that's no joke.

{jaeden 'don't want no drama' cheng}

jaeden is the bright sunshiney-sunshine at the extension room. i trained her on the front desk way back when, and she quickly took over as top-queen-cheerful-best-organizer. yup. she rocks reception hard. jaeden is also a student, learning the arts of the theatre. you know. the theatre arts. the dramas. i am regularly tricked into staying at the studio and taking extra classes when jaeden is there. which is to say she is an excellent influence.

 and, finally:

{erin 'we should nap instead' hooper}

and you know all about me. duh. this is my blog, and you read it, and i talk about myself ALL THE TIME. (hey! what up!)  so. you're spared further biographing this time around.

i don't wanna get too vain up in here, but holy hell we're a fiiiine and fit team of ladies. mudder don't stand a chance.

saved my life

today i am feeling hollowed out. so tired, still, despite all the sleep. despite all the caffeine. truly. all the caffeine. black tea, energy capsules, red bull, coffee beans. and still falling asleep where i stand. not a moment of clarity or alertness. and then, not so surprisingly, the spinning headache and swirling cold sweat all up my arms. i am fed up with this body today.

this quiet desperate dance, then. i had forgotten how wonderful it was.



when other helpers fail and comforts flee...
still, always, my favourite hymn.
i just want to be able to make it to ballet tonight. please.

battu

{damn straight i'm mudder ready}

so excited i might die. (also. i might just die.) i am signing up, along with a bunch of sickly-fit babes, for the tough mudder spring event. shit is gonna be cray. our team of ballerinas will destroy the obstacles like nobody's business, all the while wearing tutus. i'm pretty positive i'm the weakest link on our team... so i ran some stairs yesterday as soon as i heard we were taking this on. we are working out the registration and planning for a weekly training session. i'll introduce you to the team and let you know how things go as we pump ourselves up like whoa. blamo, biatches.

i wish i could do this

saved my life

tonight is ballet class and thank god because i need it. i wish i was good enough to dance out the painful stuff... the heart stuff... the life stuff... (and yes, yes, anyone can dance their feeeeelings, but not actually. because i believe in dance and i believe in dancing well, and worst of all i believe in ballet, and there is no doing ballet poorly, no sir, it will not do.)

so i will watch this, instead. and then work harder in class.



when i first saw this ballet, wrapped in my ikea duvet in my ikea room, all in white and wood, in a grey and cold edinburgh, i cried so hard i thought i might die. i wonder if i will ever ever manage to make something that moves me as much as this ballet did? (as ballet does.) i am pretty certain i won't, but that is okay because that is a very very very big demand to make on my little art and even if i make something a quarter as moving... well... that will be good too.

happy monday. the world is hard right now. steep in the beautiful things when you can.