ff

this week has heralded a few great conversations about rape and rape culture. (some not so great, too, but let's not focus on those right now.)

people outside of the feminist blogisphere have been engaging in rape culture discussions triggered by the horrible so sad awful rage-tears-inducing gang rape in india. and. while i do agree with the following...

{@pushinghoops}

i am still grateful that soooomething is happening and people are thinking and speaking and learning.

jill over at feministe links to two really thoughtful pieces that discuss purity and virtue. read them both. they're worth spending some time with.  

{from e.j. graff's piece for the american prospect}

and then, too, mom sent me this little dude which is very yes and i like it very much. (because, say it with me friends, feminism is not about women wiiinnnnnning, its about gender equality and a world that is accepting of masculinity and feminity that fall outside of the rigid little set of descriptors we're all supposed to adhere to.)

and also, this video which a dear old friend (hi jess!!) sent me.

somedays my heart hurts so bad for the state of the world, and somedays i have slivers of hopefulness and somedays... and everydays i am thankful and thankful and thankful for my own personal world, where, jokes aside about 'erin's silly feminist posts', i am loved and respected by my friends and family and given autonomy. if only everyone was so lucky. (if only that, then... universe fixed...)

**and as always seems to be the case when i write an ff post that isn't 100% angry-sad a little in advance of friday, i came across this piece last night about two young men raping their jiu-jitsu teammate in a parking lot instead of driving her home safely like they said they would do. and oh, fuck it. ow. oh. my heart. my angry-sad heart.**

ff

today, a thought on what feminism actually is.

i read a piece this week that was talking about attacks on gay rights by evangelical churches, and the damage being done to 'anti-oppression movements'.

shock! the article included feminism in that moniker. and i like that a lot. as a thing. as a definition.

i am constantly, furiously surprised at the people i know who refuse to be classified as feminist. people who believe completely in women being humans deserving of respect and rights and protection and blah blah. people who are women and love women. but they're not feminists. cause. you know... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

but wait. let's replace all the femaleness above with gayness. because those same people? those people who believe, too, completely in LGBT being humans deserving of respect and rights and protection and blah blah and so on? those people don't have a problem being vocally pro-LGBT. those people would be oh so thrilled to go and support the local pride parade. or. let's say anti-racism... AND SO ON!!!

so why is it that those people would shudder and shy away from a feminist parade? why are they so scared to join us in title as well as in principle?

why, when what we are are fighters against oppression?

for me. feminism is not: anti-men, anti-sex, anti-mother, anti-wife, anti-religion...

it is anti-oppression. for me and mine. but for everyone else too. human dignity. and all that.

so. think on that, non-feminist friends of mine. please. i beg you.



this week's reading. this tugged very much at my heart. because i want very very much to be a mother. i know this. and in this i am a little unlucky, but mostly i am lucky. people who are all MODERN WOMEN RA! tend to question my desire for children and a family... my desire to play the role of housewife and mother...  they give me a tough time about it. but mostly in jest. or at least in love. they might think it is counter to other things i represent, but they don't think i'm outright bonkers. it's the norm, afterall. isn't it?

but for the women out there who don't want to have kids. i feel very much sorry for them. NOT because i think 'oh, poor things! how can they not?! motherhood is a wonderful gift hoooray!'. no. but because so few people believe them. so few people, men and women alike, are able-or-willing to accept the possibility that a woman could, truly, understand herself and her body and TRULY not want to make a baby. and therefore not wanting a baby becomes a fight. a revolution. a stance that you cannot back down from no matter what...

blah blah. i could go on on this, but i've already talked a lot this post, and really the piece wraps it up pretty brilliantly. so. read.

*melissa doesn't want a baby.


***** this week! feminist of the week goes to.....  alan reed! for sending me an awesome article related to last week's theme, and for being openly feminist even on the internets! congratulations, and thank you!*****

{photo borrowed from feministezine}