be a chatty cathy

today is talk about depression day!!! which i think is so brilliant and so great and i just wanna hug clara hughes for putting her lovely face all over this thang.

i wanted to add my two cents to the conversation. because i agree that it's crazy the degree to which depression and mental health issues are stigmatized. even though i have probably the greatest most fantastically supportive families there is, i struggled with admitting that i was anxious at a completely unhealthy level and depressed for the better part of two years. it is just so hard to take your feelings and put them into the same space you put that giant gash on your foot. but now that i have started approaching my anxiety as a health issue rather than an emotional issue, dealing is just so much more unbelievably easy. i communicate with myself like i would any other physical problem.

my head hurts. why? not enough water? too much reading on a computer screen? too much laughing at videos of kittens? talking to an annoying human? okay! i can figure out how to deal with and treat each of those scenarios.

my heart is racing and i feel like the world might end. why? too much caffeine? not enough sleep? just watched a tv show with a lot of triggering high-anxiety scenes? (i'm looking at you, breaking bad...) okay! i can calm down. i can rationalize.

plus there's that helpful friend, prescription medication. balancing and balancing. not for everyone, i'm sure. but i'm happy with mine. (it took a little more than a month to settle into the meds, and that was an occasionally frustrating time. worth it.)

a friend on facebook recently posted a status about her depressive tendencies, and how she is finally able to understand that she doesn't have a 'problem', she has a chemical imbalance. and how helpful that understanding is day to day. i feel the same way. realizing that a) the way i've been feeling really isn't the way that everyone goes about feeling, and that b) that doesn't mean that i am failing at being a human. no one would think they were failing at being a human if they had a broken rib. (unless they broke that rib doing something stupid... like. ummm. street-luge.)

finally, i just want to say as clearly as i can:
there is a big difference between being sad and being depressed.
there is a big difference between being stressed and having an anxiety disorder.
it took me way too long to realize that, and i wish i had earlier and dealt with my situation sooner rather than believing it would go away when life got a bit better... when life calmed down. and i think, too, that i knew that all along. and maybe by 'us' talking about this a bit more, someone else out there who's in that same situation will get help a bit faster. and that would be great.

meanwhile. if you're feeling a bit low. this might help you cheer up at least for a minute!

and share your story, if you have one. send out questions or concerns. it's all cool, my darling lovely readers!