ff

rape insurance.

that's all.

happy friday, allthecursewordsever.

ff

i have a haaaarrrrrdcore lady crush on rachel maddow. she is a superhero and i just want her to like me. ooof. meanwhile. would you like to have a wee chuckle? here.



* koch brothers push boundaries of decency, creepiness

uh huh creepiness. but. reeeeallly. these are the same peeps who are all 'FORCE THE LADIES TO HAVE THE MEDICALLY UNNECESSARY ULTRASOUNDS! INVASIVENESS IN YOUR VAGINA FO' LYFE!' (like. literally. fo' lyfe. haha. get it?!) how do they not get how hilarious this ad is? how how? magic. must be...

and since we're chatting healthcare, here's a solid and quick video that gives some good facts on the state's healthcare sitch. hint: it is crazytown and ridiculous. canada? i love you and i love your healthcare. hearts. (healthy hearts.)



happy friday, health-insureds!

news

* location of the newest mass shooting revealed
* desperate nation tries getting on board with mass shootings

can we make a deal? can we only have the onion report on shootings from now on?
because today, there's really just one thing that i think has anything honesty ringing through it. maybe you remember it?

* fuck everything, nation reports

can we just stop? pretending to care. pretending to be horrified. i mean.
i know we care on an individual level. of course we care. of course we are horrified.
but i'm talking collectively. the states. our neighbour. us.

can we not get up and make a speech about how 'unimaginable' it is?

that word is beyond ridiculously ill-fitting. of course it is imaginable. come on. can we not say shit like that to the victims' families and friends? to the people who witnessed it. can we not patronize them with words that ring so false? no one cares. nothing will be done. we will talk for a little while, and we will clutch at our hearts and we will shout and cry, and we will not so much forget as we will just not... and then it will happen again. and we will say all the same things, and we will pound our hands on the table, and we will declare that now is the time. we will reignite conversations rand repeat them pretty much exactly like we did last time, like, how long ago? fuck off. stop it.  it is embarrassing and it is gross. so let's just not. let's just shut it. let there be some god damn silence because maybe, maybe, there can be a moment of genuine solace in that void. instead of this bullshit cacophony.

when i learned about columbine, i threw up. it was the most heartbroken i'd been in my little life. it was the most devastating thing for my poor little sensitive heart. i was in grade 9. it was a madness i could not begin to get my head around. i didn't understand my own anger. i didn't understand anything about it at all. the hurt i felt was everywhere. whole body. i was shaken to my core. utterly lost.

i am easily affected by tragedy. i take on emotion so deeply. i am emotional. this is something we know about me. i've wept for a lot less than a school-full of murdered children. on the wrong day someone tripping getting off the streetcar can bring me to tears.

when i looked at the scrolling updates from washington and i shrugged. the only word that surfaced in response was 'yup'.

yup. shrug.

i'm sorry that your deaths won't matter. i'm sorry nothing will change. i'm sorry guns are more important than you. than we.

shrug.

i'm going to go back to listening to britney now.

be a chatty cathy

today is talk about depression day!!! which i think is so brilliant and so great and i just wanna hug clara hughes for putting her lovely face all over this thang.

i wanted to add my two cents to the conversation. because i agree that it's crazy the degree to which depression and mental health issues are stigmatized. even though i have probably the greatest most fantastically supportive families there is, i struggled with admitting that i was anxious at a completely unhealthy level and depressed for the better part of two years. it is just so hard to take your feelings and put them into the same space you put that giant gash on your foot. but now that i have started approaching my anxiety as a health issue rather than an emotional issue, dealing is just so much more unbelievably easy. i communicate with myself like i would any other physical problem.

my head hurts. why? not enough water? too much reading on a computer screen? too much laughing at videos of kittens? talking to an annoying human? okay! i can figure out how to deal with and treat each of those scenarios.

my heart is racing and i feel like the world might end. why? too much caffeine? not enough sleep? just watched a tv show with a lot of triggering high-anxiety scenes? (i'm looking at you, breaking bad...) okay! i can calm down. i can rationalize.

plus there's that helpful friend, prescription medication. balancing and balancing. not for everyone, i'm sure. but i'm happy with mine. (it took a little more than a month to settle into the meds, and that was an occasionally frustrating time. worth it.)

a friend on facebook recently posted a status about her depressive tendencies, and how she is finally able to understand that she doesn't have a 'problem', she has a chemical imbalance. and how helpful that understanding is day to day. i feel the same way. realizing that a) the way i've been feeling really isn't the way that everyone goes about feeling, and that b) that doesn't mean that i am failing at being a human. no one would think they were failing at being a human if they had a broken rib. (unless they broke that rib doing something stupid... like. ummm. street-luge.)

finally, i just want to say as clearly as i can:
there is a big difference between being sad and being depressed.
there is a big difference between being stressed and having an anxiety disorder.
it took me way too long to realize that, and i wish i had earlier and dealt with my situation sooner rather than believing it would go away when life got a bit better... when life calmed down. and i think, too, that i knew that all along. and maybe by 'us' talking about this a bit more, someone else out there who's in that same situation will get help a bit faster. and that would be great.

meanwhile. if you're feeling a bit low. this might help you cheer up at least for a minute!

and share your story, if you have one. send out questions or concerns. it's all cool, my darling lovely readers!