tail

{adeam spring 2015, photos by monica feudi for feudiguaineri.com by way of style.com}

saved my life

top of my playlist for some weeks now, just can't get sick of it:



happy monday, models.

ff (nope)

2tired2blorg.

i got my ticket to the opening night of the mockingjay. so. instead. here:



happy friday, tributes.

today i read

{denise balkisson}

today? today is anger. (anger is always, if i'm thinking about it. some days i manage not to and then they are not angry. but today is. raging.)

just a minute ago i wrote on facebook:

tired of the ghomeshi shit? too bad. some people have been tired for a long time.
this piece gets, so well, into the rage that i am scared of in myself, that i don't know what to do with. wasn't ray rice a watershed moment? and before him, and before and before and before...

* sorry, we haven't reached a 'watershed' on violence against women

(also. news stories i listened to last week calling the death of two rcmp officers the worst murders in canada's history - not that their deaths aren't awful, but how 'bout the more than 26 women victims of pickton? i can't i can't i can't.)

and this quote, from sue chapman on cbc world at six news, november 3rd. she was asked, about women coming forward with abuse allocations:

as a former prosecutor, what would you say to women as they were expressing these concerns? what would you say to them at the time?

SC: I would explain to them fairly and fully what the issues were, but quite honestly I would also say to them that it’s very much in the public interest that they proceed with the case.  That they be prepared to cooperate and take the years that is [sic] necessary to pursue a prosecution. But privately in my own mind I would often think, however, if you were my sister, I’d tell you to go home now.

emphasis mine.

just think about that for a while.

(i've transcribed the whole interview, if you aren't able to listen to it via the link above. i'm happy to share.)

on sin or evil

* i knew about jian ghomeshi. i never said anything.am i complicit in his alleged abuse?

this is a very good essay that makes me angry and sad all at once.

the anger.

but
i liked doing that show.

i like his show,
i like his team,
i like his movies,
i like his song,

willful blindness. looking away at the necessary moments. because of what we don't want to give up. because we are selfish.

i am not saying i am better or different because i am not. in this instance, with women and what is done to them, sure. but. i have my things. where i fall short. and that is why the sad.
we are all selfish. we all have our areas, we all have our things.

but i like that i can afford that dress,
but i like the coffee there,
but i like the convenience,

sometimes i am overwhelmed with the huge acts of cruelty, hatred, violence in this world we live in. but other times it is the teeny tiniest of evils that we all participate in daily that leave me feeling hopeless. they are so small, but so infinite. how can you get rid of all those passing moments of weakness, selfishness? what on earth do you do with those?

saved my life

i have a new love, you guys. i am all swoons and sighs and i can barely stop thinking about it long enough to listen to my other podcasts.

the memory palace

ooof! beautiful beautiful little glimmering vials of history. so well told.
i listened to my first episode on a night walk with margene. perfectly crisp fall air. and the story of a singer. and of other people's bodies, other people's pains. and i wanted the moment, the walk, to go on forever, it was so moving. i encourage you to listen to that episode first:

* other bodies

i've now gone right through them all. i want more. i am delighted.
happy monday, passing time.

espooky october

i watched some espooky movies. it was the most fun. i want it to always be october. there are still SO MANY MOVIES I WANT TO WATCH! sigh. next year! can't wait! thanks to special guests who came and watched with me, and to all my wise advisors who gave suggestions.