tunneling

oh man! making these little mood-based photo collages is rocking my world! i love it. i can't stop. this time is dirt and heat and earth and sun and anthills.

{borrowed from here & here & here}

{borrowed from here & here & here}

{borrowed from here & here & here}

{borrowed from here & here & here}

{borrowed from here & here & here}

 {borrowed from here & here}

(as a background on what i do when i make these; i start with one idea/feeling, and find a picture that fits. this time it was the anthill. then i go searching and searching through the internets for photos that fit the colour, style, pattern, composition, balance, theme and feeling of that first photo. i collect a bunch together, and then i arrange them in little families. then i get real real excited and my heart hurts.)

ff

you might remember there being a little teaser last week?

yeah!

on learning and unlearning. or. the impossibility of the latter.

i am just a wee baby of feminism. this is true. i am so so new and all a-stumbles on my under-formed feminist-legs. like a baby deer learning to walk. (i think maybe baby deer should be the blorg mascott... but that's another issue. a cute issue.) but the thing about it is: once you know, you can't un-know. you know?

(haha!)

and so that is where i am. i may not have the best language to argue my (our) case. but. i know i need to argue it anyway. because i have started to see it. and now i can't help but see it all the time.* to see that the united states is a terror-fest for women, despite the fact that it isn't as obvious as not-being-allowed-an-education, or being-forced-to-cover-our-bodies-in-a-complete-way... to see how many women and girls i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a woman. to see how many men and boys i know who are so deeply damaged by years of being told certain things about what it means to be a man.

and sometimes i wish i didn't see it. sometimes i wish i could laugh at things like 'shit girls say' and not feel sick to my stomach knowing that there is something so deeply ingrained and flawed in the way we mock eachother. sometimes i wish my heart didn't hurt so much so often.

but that would mean i was going along blissfully ignorant. and i no longer have that option. and i suspect there are those amongst you, readers, who are hesitant to open up to the knowing. i can't blame you. it's hard. and there is no going backwards. so. i get it. if you're hesitant to join me... but i hope you will anyways. because we all know that struggle and hardship are what make us stronger humans. or something. and we can only improve things if we see them in the first place.

tra la la.

{our beloved hillary clinton drinks to the feminist of the week! photo from international business times.}

feminist of the week for this extra-special my-birthday-week has been a long time coming. sarah rankin!!! roommate extraordinaire. and feminist educator to the masses. she introduced me to feministe and shakesville, and she taught me to argue and fight when i feel i need to. she also explained this sad-truth of not being able to go back once you're in. and we had a cool talk about consent and knowledge, which maybe i'll have her guest-write about one day when she's done with school for the term... yeah?!

*it is, of course, important not to get toooo carried away, and let it ruin your life completely. and so. kittens.

lost and far

this does painful things to my poor heart. baby deer crying things. smoking tiny cigars on a bench in a park in the middle of the night things. achey things. good timing, revillon. today is a baby deer crying kind of day...

{fall revillon 2012, photos by katerina jebb courtesy of revillon by way of style.com}