i think i'm on heroin...

*

most people were trained to do the jobs they do. like. properly trained. in school. for many years. if you go to med school, you probably will end up working as a doctor doing just what it is that you have studied to do. and people will give you money to do that job. not so for those of us with fine arts degrees.

we are lucky if we make money a few times a year from what we've been trained to do. sell a painting here. sell a painting there. don't ever expect to be able to pay your BILLS with money made from same sales...

but twice - TWICE - in this past month i have been given money (good money!) to do EXACTLY what i have studied to do. I have been paid to sit in a room and draw people's faces. face after face, person after person, draw draw draw... for a scheduled, pre-determined amount of time for a pre-determined hourly rate.

and it might be the best thing ever. i've just finished a couple hours doing just that. drawing people for money. and i'm pretty sure this is what doing drugs feels like. do other people with more practical degrees feel this way when THEY get work? i doubt it. maybe that's why i don't have a more practical degree... anyways! back to the drugs!

i am EXHAUSTED, but there's no way in hell i'll be capable of sleeping for a good while - tooooo much left over adrenaline. i am a mental mess. i'm not sure this post will make any sense, i'm not sure any of the conversations i had while drawing made any sense. my brain is shot. and i am SOOOOO PUMPED! i couldn't be happier! i'm giddy and goofy and wishing i had someone i could chest bump out my enthusiam with. MAN this is rad.

and the whole time i'm actually DOING the work, two things go through my head over and over:
1 'holy craptowns, this is STRESSSSSSFULLLL/do NOT mess up, oh GOD!'
2 'you suckers. you are paying me right now. and i am having the most fun time i've ever had in my whole life. chumps!'

oh, and sometimes i also think:
3 'goodgod it is hot. is it really this hot? MAN i am hot...'

anyways. it's pretty awesome. just saying.

* photo-relevance is, of course, that kate moss was the postergirl for heroin chic. which is strange. because she was totes into cocaine. but i guess that was later on anyways. ahem. photo by corinne day.