satin sleeper

sunday sunday. hello. despite my best efforts, i wasn't able to sleep in this morning. so. fashion instead.

{prefall thakoon addition 2013, photos courtesy of thakoon addition by way of style.com}

afterchristmas

it is now afterchristmas, and of course, as always, there are the afterchristmas sohappyi'msads and all of my bones get all up and upons with the hoorayness and the hurt.

i've been saving the prefall collections for now. knowing that nothing gets into my heart and pushes around the sorrow of being joyful quite like prefall. knowing i shouldn't waste it on the jumping energy of prechristmas.

i went to a party tonight where i saw people i haven't seen in too long and where two people had just got engaged and where there was a little little boy with the blondest blonde hair who just wanted the adults to 'stop sneaking up' on him. i wore the really dark purpleredwine lipstick i've been meaning to wear all holiday but have been too lazy to deal with. because i was inspired again by this. ports. and by a very good playlist.

 {prefall ports 1961 2013, photos courtesy of ports 1961 by way of style.com}

saved my life

merry merry, everyone. all the folks are home and oh how wonderful it is.



happy monday. happy christmas. happy life.

home

TODAY!!!

MAYBE I AM EXCITED TO GO HOME...

{borrowed from here}

saved my life

oh gosh, it is just just past midnight. but today was intense! man i have over-packed! but it is too late now. just gotta roll with it.

last night awb taught me how to make rum eggnog from scratch. it was super delicious and i am very pleased with myself. also he cooked roommatesarah and i dinner which was so great and nice of him. and art videos and the internet and talking talking and the saddest songs.

and this will go into your brain and never ever come out.



happy monday. so close to home.

love these cooks.

{i am a cookie}

i was gonna write about my total full-body empathy-sickness problem and the shooting of the small humans and the utter impotence of words right now, especially ones like 'enough' and 'change' and 'devestation' and... but then i read this onion piece and it says it all better than anything or anyone else....

so i cuddled my dog a lot and made cookies instead. because i could only throw up from complete sadness so many times. and also it is the christmas time. and who the fuck am i to think that i have any right to this nauseous cloying anger when there are 20 families that had their children murdered yesterday...

so. the cookies. then.

{and gin, too. and specialdeer for me, danny, sarah and adam.}

ff

what up, rape culture!? whatcha been up to lately? cool, cool.

* how's about you give this a read?

okay, jokes aside (HAHA RAPE!) this is a solid piece. all academic in nature. thanks thomas!
it is longish, but well worth the time. there are statistics and percentages, guys! NUMBERS! and, too, some very good advice. i just want to cut-and-paste it all, but i'll try to limit myself to:

something that i'm finding terrifying and shocking as i learn more and more about rape culture is how many people i actually know who have been sexually assaulted. i always thought the list was too long when i was looking at the 'society-confirmed-rapes', but now as i think back on stories i have been told over the years... there are so many i never classified correctly. never truly appreciated the extent of damage and violence. so so many. and i shudder to think about what my reactions were when i was told about these assaults. did i listen openly or did i try to excuse the acts - try to empathize with the bad guy because, you know, he was a 'nice guy'? did i build one more tiny wall against a victim classifying her assault as just that? god i hope i didn't. but i probably did. even though there was always a banging in my gut i didn't understand. all i can do is know what i know now and never ever ever put up such a wall again. let's all be that way, okay?

happy friday, my lovely internets.

grandma's candy bowls

{borrowed from here}

sometimes (maybe around the holidays, say) do you sit in bed at night not being able to sleep and just crying happytears because the love that you have in you for the humans in your life is just too much to handle? and you think about them one by one and you're just trying to keep it together because holy holy holy god, how did you get so lucky and where on earth did they come from? and you can't, in this moment, even fathom being anything but happy and filled with love - even though you know you surely will feel sad or tired or mad or nothing soon enough, but right now it just doesn't even make sense to feel just exactly like this joyloveexplode?

saved my life

christmastime! i am feeling all of the feelings all of the time. EXPLODE EXPLODE EXPLODE!



happy monday. don't forget you get to light two advent candles now!

(oh, and. i'm sure you've all heard by now. but in case you haven't. toronto is the best. ikeamonkey.)

ff

are you a feminist?

no? why not?

these are questions i've had many times. of people who are totally feminists. but refuse to use the word. (hi guys! i started this feature for you!)

and here are a few other people who are asking those questions and thinking on them. do have a read!

{mary elizabeth williams at salon makes a real good point}

* why are women scared to call themselves feminists?

and also, in fashion-town:

* do you call yourself a feminist?

okay great job. i'm going to sign off now. and i'm going to do it calling y'all feminists. ready? get yourself ready.


happy friday, my lovely feministas!

students

two short stories and some thoughts.

one.
yesterday. a 'friend' on facebook had a whiningest status about how much he hated whiney students whining about exams-and-papers stress because didn't they know the real world is harder and you don't get grades and blah blah his life is so much more stressful then theirs blah. so i thought to myself 'that is one too many whiney statuses from you!' and unfriended him.

two.
today. i got to go to ballet class, watch a movie, have a little painting/drawing playtime. roommate sarah studied and studied and studied. we went out for a quick glass of wine with another law-friend. walking to the subway on this lovely not-winter-december night, i picked at my gold nail polish and sighed so happily and space-cadetedly 'sometimes don't you just love your life?!'. roommate sarah responded with '...i was just thinking about {insert law things with clauses and statutes and many complicated bits}...' haha! our brains are different.

what is the point? well. for one it is that i am very happy and lucky and my life is pretty freakin great right now. but also, it is that roommate sarah and the other laws i know are working very hard at studying and learning and writing and thinking. other students of all kinds, in fact. right now. and some days i get whiney for no good reason at all and roommate sarah doesn't even hit me upside the head and say 'STOPITSTOPIT YOU STUPID JERKFACE, YOUR LIFE IS A BREEEEEEZE!' which i think is very nice of her. to not do.

blah blah. GOOD LUCK AND GOOD WORK, students. school is hard sometimes. and i'm impressed and proud to know so many students at various levels and in various disciplines who work so hard at the thing they are doing. because they want to be better and best versions of themselves in whatever field. keep it up! you're great, guys! high fives and puppies! don't get too stressed or sad or scared or sleepy! here's a thing for you!

skate away

{borrowed from here & here}

  

it is not winter here. not even close. it is barely even fall some days. yesterday? it was 12 degrees.

even though i am calling this city mine, there is still a whole lot of edmonton in my bones that i can't shake out. and those edmonton bits think that it can't be december, it can't be advent, without the cold. the snow. the crinkly-freeze-your-nosehairs-when-you-inhale kind of cold. toronto doesn't understand this cold even a little. which makes it hard for me to understand how toronto can understand christmas at all. i think it does it all wrong.

i can't wait to be home. where christmas is the realest thing. i've been spending time with wintery images to fill the hole in my winter-heart.

 {borrowed from here & here}

 {borrowed from here & here & here}

 {borrowed from here & here}

 {borrowed from here & here & here}

{borrowed from here & here}

saved my life

i've been having these extreme feelings lately. (i know, right? me? and feelings?! what even is happening?) they're good feelings, mostly. but. overwhelming. like i can't possibly get all of the goodnesses into my cells in time, and it is all just too much, and oh gosh, how will i ever get all of these insides out into the world, and if i made a million movies could i ever make a scene poignant enough to have just one person watch it and understand these bursting busting feelings?

and also i bought the melancholia soundtrack on itunes, and i've been listening to that a lot. because it feels suitably epic. for these bursting busting feelings that have me staggering and stumbling through my days.




and if you made it through that beautiful-but-very-hard video, you get to watch this video. which is different. but also very very very good.



WHY IS THIS THE MOST FUNNY THING?! it is. i don't know what wizardry they're using to make it SO FUNNY but they are pulling it off. oh man. the sofa bears.

happy monday. happy december. happy bursting busting insides.